Navigating Inner Work: The Power of Questioning & Reflection

Photo by Daniel Mingook Kim on Unsplash

You've been doing this inner work for some time already. You're aware of many of your beliefs, wounds and patterns, yet things don't seem to change, things don't seem to move.

You keep going on, moving forward in your life, and things are looking good, you feel like you're making great progress. Until something happens, an automatic behaviour gets triggered and after everything is over you realise you were acting from a wounded place. Again. And you wonder how you can interrupt that behaviour while you're going through the experience, not only after it happens.

Sounds familiar?

I've been there too. In fact, I catch myself in those situations more often than I'd like.

There are a few aspects to take into account in these processes, but the one that I like to start with is always QUESTIONING.

Questioning all aspects of you that are being part of the experience. 

Questioning the wound, belief or pattern - why is it there?

Questioning the automatic behaviour - why did a part of me react that way?

And questioning the timing - why did all of that show up at that particular moment?

There is always a reason behind everything our subconscious does, behind everything that we do. You all know that. All these aspects and wounds are going to be completely different for all of us, but one thing that they all have in common is that they’re there to protect us. And so the most powerful question you can ask is this: what is that part of me trying to protect me from?

This protective mechanism may be there for many different reasons, and for some particular aspects it may not be directly related to something that has happened to you: it may be a societal conditioning - something you learnt when you were a little kid, a belief that has passed down in your family line or something that you saw happen to someone else.

The goal of questioning is not to understand exactly what happened, but to understand why it’s showing up. The reason behind our wounded parts may not make sense to our adult minds, but whatever you’re tapping into, trust it.

If you know why it's there, why it shows up the way it does, what is trying to protect you from and where it's showing up in your life, it's going to be much easier for you to realise when it's happening. Even if you just know the answer to one of those questions, it gets easier.

This part of the process is not essential, you can heal anything without knowing more about it. But when we're trying to consciously pick up all these thoughts and patterns in our daily lives, the more we know, the easier it gets.

For any of you who want to give this a try, but need more guidance, here’s an exercise for you. You can use this each time you want more answers or when you discover a new layer of yourself:

• Sit or lay down in a place/space where you can be with yourself without any distractions or interruptions.

• Close your eyes, remember the wound/pattern/belief you’re working with and connect with that aspect of yourself.

• Feel the sensations that arise in your body - any tension, contraction or stuck energy, and see where it's showing up.

• Ask that wounded part of you these questions and give yourself space to receive:

  • Why are you here?

  • Why do you show up the way you do?

  • What are you trying to protect me from?

  Feel free to ask any other thing that comes to your mind at that moment.

• And finally, ask yourself - is this serving my highest good?

• End the exercise coming back into your body and allowing yourself to be with you in that space and energy just a little bit longer.

Some of you will hear an answer, some of you will feel it, some of you will just know, and some others won’t get any instant answers. Either way, it’s completely okay. Trust the process, trust that even if you don't get any answers at that moment, they will eventually get to you. Trust that you’ll get the clarity that you need just when you need it the most.